-Bad Analogies By High School Writers-

  1. Her eyes were like two born circles with big black dots in the center. 
  2. He was as tall as a 6′ 3” tree. 
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed in a Thigh Master. 
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 
  7. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 
  8. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 
  9. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef. 
  10. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM. 
  11. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. 

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