-Anxiety Is My Superpower-


I worry because I am good at it.

Do you want to know every possible outcome of your situation? Just ask me. Because I’ve envisioned them all, and I am a hundred steps ahead.

Anxiety is taking what should be a normal drive across the freeway, and turning it into a fatal car crash. It’s leaving the house and wondering if you turned your straightener off.

Did I lock the door? Is the gas on the stove off? Did I jiggle the handle of the door too much? Is it going to fall off because I keep shaking it? The answer is yes, the overly priced door knob will fall off. (Equating to an expensive trip to Home Depot. True Story.)

Anxiety is turning to your husband thirty minutes into the drive across the freeway, and asking about the straightener, the door, and the stove. Each and every time he patiently responds, assuring me all things were double checked and done.

It’s gasping as every car passes you, just knowing this is the one that will swerve into your lane and kill everyone you love.

Why am I like this? I have the perfect life… I’m going to put humbleness aside for a moment. My husband is a saint, a hot one at that. My kids are sweet to the core. My pets are adorable and fluffy. My house is beautiful and decorated exactly how I want it. We are well educated, successful adults, who for the most part have accomplished all of our dreams. I’m still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter. So why am I so worried?

When I had nothing to my name, I had no time to be anxious, as I was always in survival mode. Now, I have everything I’ve ever wanted, and it terrifies me. I squeeze my babies, husband, and puppies a little tighter, because I know it can all be over in an instant.

I’ve learned to enjoy life regardless of my increasing paranoia. I make time to stop and smell the roses, even if that means I may get mowed down my a car whose driver is texting and not paying attention. (See, that’s anxiety.)

The ball will drop. Everything will come crashing down and the pieces will leave nothing unscathed. I know this, because I’ve been through it. But I rebuilt, albeit with a little bit of baggage attached to me now, but I did it.

If the ball ever drops again, I want to catch it.

Anxiety is angry, scared, and powerful. But we are good people to have around, because we will always catch you If, or when, the ball drops.

Anxiety is my superpower. Since I can’t cure it, I might as well embrace it.

So yes, Taylor Swift, I am ready for it.

Share This: