-I’m a Millennial. Duh.-


I’m a Millennial. I really hate the word. I woke up one day and it was everywhere; I had to Google what it was. I surely didn’t want to be categorized as a Millennial, not after reading the awful things being associated with the word. But then I discovered via Google (shame on me for using the internet) and Buzzfeed (Millennial Hot Spot), what it truly meant to be a child born in the early 80’s to the mid 90’s.

The word came about as an easy way for scientists to describe our generation. Then, it turned into an insulting word to be thrown at us. For everything.

“Candace ate chips today.”

“Fucking Millennials, always eating chips.”

Let’s get stereotyped, y’all! Because you know how much we Millennials just LOVE that.

  1. We are entitled. Yeah, I expected my parents to pay for my college… Because they said they would. Then these lovely words left my mother’s mouth, “we will not pay for your college, because we don’t think you’ll finish.” Basically, they looked at me as a bad investment, because….
  2. We don’t know what hard work is. Kind of true. I don’t work harder, I work smarter. Why? Because I watched my dad, the hardest working man I know, work 12 hour days in 100+ degree weather. And he’s still doing it. His favorite quote: “I’ll sleep when I die”.

*Wore shit eating grin at my college graduation while my mother scowled for every picture.* And no, they didn’t pay for my education. Obviously. But, just because I work a cushy in-home job, doesn’t mean my friends do as well. Houston is a Chemical Plant town, the money is at the Plants. If you work at the Plants, then you know extreme working conditions. It makes me sad… Weird, since-

  1. We don’t understand true friendship. I’ve got nothing… That’s just weird. Lol.
  2. We love selfies. Sue me.
  3. Because we are selfish. Selfish, eh? Partially true. I don’t share food well. Ask my kids, or my husband who is down one finger. Oops. Just kidding. As a child, I was told “you are mean, selfish, a brat”… Those words hurt my poor, snowflake heart. Worst part: I believed it, because I heard it every day. Really screwed me up, to be honest. I look at myself and friends and see advocates EVERYWHERE. I’m not gay, but I advocate for the LGBT community. I’m not a dog, but I adopt and don’t shop. I’m not a woman… wait, I am. I advocate equal pay! So does my vaginaless husband.
  4. We blame other generations. Honestly, I don’t give it much thought. I’m pretty happy that these previous generations marched, picketed, and stood up for what’s right. Because YAY, I get to vote now. Me and my vagina gets to vote. Speaking of vaginas…
  5. We are obsessed with sex.
  6. We are obsessed with technology. You got me there. I am a tad obsessed with sex… and technology. I can’t help it that my Kindle has oodles of smut novels. I’ll agree that sometimes we need to set the phones down, though.
  7. We can’t handle money. Every day my dad would say “Always have a nest egg”, and I listened to my previous generation dad. I always have a nest egg. And now he says “You’re so cheap, money is for spending”. So confusing. Still, I’ve got my nest egg.
  8. We are rude. You know what’s rude? This list.
  9. Being too sensitive. Yes, I’m so sensitive, I care for other human beings and get offended when people are being mistreated. Unlike this older woman I met who said “I can’t get on board with blacks and whites getting married”. But yea, I’m the sensitive one. I politely had a discussion with her, though, in hopes to understand her thought-process… Maybe even change it. I wanted to ring her neck. But I didn’t, where’s my blue ribbon I am entitled to?
  10. We don’t respect our elders. FML. If you’re an asshole, I’m not going to respect you. I don’t care if you are 25, 35, or 85. Assholes don’t get my respect. Respect is EARNED. Now, if I’m on the bus and I see an elderly woman standing, duh- I’m giving her my seat. That’s manners. Another lovely trait that we are told we do not possess.

Anyways, at the end of the day, call me what you want. I’m 27 and I stopped caring a long time ago what people think of me. I will raise my children to love technology, and the outdoors. My nine year old will never judge someone because they’re gay, or black, or have ten arms… And they will never, ever, blindly respect me if I become a shitty parent. 

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